As always, my New Year’s Resolution was to stop being such a unhealthy fatass. I assisted in my reaching of this resolution by signing up for a gym membership at Bally’s Total Fitness (I would just say Bally’s, but you might get it confused with the hotel in Las Vegas, so I tacked on the “Total Fitness”).
My Mom sent me a text asking how things were going. I responded by saying, “Everything is going well. I joined a gym. Love you.”
Her response: “God for u! Is it near your house? That will be something you really enjoy, but Dan, u r NOT fat. You’re very good looking and u have intoxicating eyes and a great smile. You r fun, funny and a hoot to be with. I love u soooooo much, Dan, and I expect great things out of you!!!”
It’s good to know that even if I and the rest of the world doesn’t find me to be thin, attractive, or funny, at least my good old Mom does.
You should totally plound her
You shouldn’t plound her danny.
Here is a list of people I’ve seen at my gym over the past month:
Chris Downing
Adam Breen
Rob Sirstins
Dom Franciose
Needless to say, I won’t be renewing my membership in May.
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